| September 27,
2004... Suspicious Cinematic
Similarities |
I hope you'll forgive the recent lack of activity on the
site. I've been trying to switch my computer over to
Windows 2000, but the transition hasn't gone as smoothly as
planned. I can't seem to get the sound drivers
installed, and sound is just something you can't live without
when you're as fond of emulators as I am. I guess I'll
have to keep slumming with Windows ME until I can find a
solution to the problem.
Anyway, I did make good on my promise to write a Crimson
Tears review. I must say that it's quite a change of
pace for the Blitz, offering a review of a game that was just
recently released. Usually I wait until they're good and
crusty before I offer an opinion of them, because, well...
let's not mince words here. I'm lazy! Lucky for
me, I can get away with that, because timeliness is hardly a
concern when you're running a retro gaming site.
Before I go, is anyone else thinking that the upcoming
movie Taxi was originally based on the game Crazy Taxi?
I'm watching the previews and I can't help but think that
there's a connection... Taxi's got "less than faithful film
adaptation of a popular video game" written all over it.
I also can't help but notice similarities between the lead
character in Pixar's The Impossibles and failed Sony mascot
Blasto. Since The Impossibles are already scheduled to
appear in a Playstation game, I can only hope that the two
characters just look alike.
| September 22,
2004... Now That's Vesatility! (Nintendo DS
news) |
There's more solid information on the upcoming Nintendo
DS. It'll be available in America on November 21st, and
will cost $149. That's not too bad when you consider
that it'll have everything from a touchscreen to wireless
communication to Game Boy Advance compatibility to, um, a
corkscrew and a toothpick. Wait, were we talking about a
game system or a Swiss Army Knife here?
Anyway... we've got a new review on the site, faithful
readers. Today, we're examining the Protector/Y*A*S*I
combo cartridge for the Vectrex, designed by Alex Herbert and
distributed by Mark Shaker. Next week, we'll leave the
past and head for the future with Crimson Tears for the
Playstation 2.
| September 20, 2004... 50%
Space Invaders, 50% Defender, 100%
Awesome |
I don't have any major updates to the site today. I
was attacked by a thug over the weekend, and spent the rest of
it in bed feeling sorry for myself. You'll find more
information about this unfortunate incident on my LiveJournal,
but let me just say here that when a homophobic cretin whose
parents are cousins starts shouting insults from his car, just
walk away and let him wallow in his own immense stupidity.
Well, enough of that. You want to hear about video
games, and I've played some great ones this weekend.
First up is Sly Cooper 2... I managed to get my hands on this
one the day it arrived at my local rental store, and I must
say that I've loved nearly every minute of it. There's
more stealth in Sly 2: Band of Thieves, and I normally don't
have much patience for this style of gameplay, but Sucker
Punch has somehow extracted most of the frustration and
replaced it with fun and excitement. The level designs
are terrific, too... now, Sly and his friends work together to
finish the longer, more difficult missions, and the objectives
offer more variety than simply running from one end of the
stage to the other.
I also received my Vectrex last Friday, and have spent
hours of quality time with Protector and Y*A*S*I.
Protector, as the name suggests, is a clone of Williams'
Defender, and an extremely accurate one despite the Vectrex's
visual limitations. Defender loses nothing in the
conversion to vector graphics... its graphics were always
pretty simple, and color didn't play a major part in the game,
unless you were hunting down specific enemies in the
radar. You can still recognize them on the Vectrex...
you just have to pay attention to their movement patterns and
luminescence.
Y*A*S*I is a Vectrex adaptation of Space Invaders, and it's
even closer to the source material than Protector. The
designer actually found a way to simulate raster graphics on
the Vectrex, so the invaders look exactly like they did in the
arcade game. There is a bit of flicker as the vectors
rapidly alternate to fill in the characters, but there's
absolutely no slowdown, which means that the gameplay is
absolutely perfect. It's the best Space Invaders
conversion since Opcode's superb Space Invaders Collection for
the ColecoVision. In fact, it would be incredibly tough
choosing between the two games... on one hand, Space Invaders
Collection offers both Space Invaders and its sequel, while on
the other, Y*A*S*I features a variety of unlockable modes and
looks more like the arcade game thanks to its bright
monochrome display.
Lucky for me, I don't have to choose. I've got 'em
both, and I have no intention of giving up either anytime
soon. I DO have to bring Sly Cooper 2 back to the rental
store, however, so I'll have to end this entry here.
| September 14,
2004... Ain't Life
Grand? |
Well, it's official, folks. You've probably suspected
it for a long time, but after today, you can safely say
without any doubt that I'm a hypocrite. That's right, I
picked up a copy of Grand Theft Auto III for my Playstation
2. Hey, I'm as surprised as you are, but I found the
disc at a pawn shop for five bucks. It's nearly
impossible for me to resist any game for an actively supported
console at that price.
Besides, True Crime: Streets of L.A. isn't going to last
forever. Once I'm done with it, I'm going to want a
second helping of that go anywhere, do anything gameplay, and
Grand Theft Auto III ought to satisfy that craving... at least
until True Crime 2 (which will hopefully be subtitled "Better
Aiming, Less Snoop Dogg") hits the streets.
I also just received my copy of Protector/YASI for the
Vectrex. This cartridge offers conversions of two great
arcade classics, Defender and Space Invaders. Since I
haven't actually gotten my Vectrex yet, I can't tell you how
the games play, but from the instruction manuals alone I can
already see that a lot of work was put into them. Both
games have battery backup, and YASI, the Space Invaders clone,
has the extra special bonus of voice effects, provided you
have a special adapter. I don't know WHY you'd need
voices in a Space Invaders clone, but hey, they're in
there. You know, come to think of it, such a peripheral
also opens up the possibility of a Vectrex port of Gorf.
Maybe I shouldn't be so quick to dismiss this as a silly
gimmick...
Another big surprise is that the designer has cleverly used
the vector graphics of the system to emulate a raster scan
display. That means that the invaders are made of
pixels, rather than lines. The amount of processing
power needed to reproduce this effect may also mean that the
game's got even more flicker and slowdown than Spinball!, but
again, I couldn't say for sure until I actually have the
chance to play it. Stay tuned to the Blitz and I'll let
you know if the game is a technological marvel... or just a
well-intentioned but overly ambitious blunder.
| September 9,
2004... Seeing Red (Crimson Tears
review) |
There was some talk on another message board about
observing the fifth anniversary of the Dreamcast by
spraypainting swirls and pro-Sega slogans on run down
buildings throughout the country, and possibly the
world. As much as I like that system, I probably won't
participate in this well-intentioned but still very illegal
vandalism. Nevertheless, I'd like to find some way to
celebrate the fifth birthday of this most excellent game
system. Perhaps I'll limit myself to playing nothing but
Dreamcast games today in rememberence of its debut.
Heaven knows I've got enough of them to keep me
entertained. Besides, I'm curious to see how well its
graphics have held up after all these years.
In not-so-cool game system news, I spent my Labor Day
weekend with a couple of Playstation 2 titles that I'd rented
from a local video store. I didn't really NEED to do
this, since I had plenty of other games at home, but I was
overwhelmed with curiousity when I saw an unfamiliar Capcom
release called Crimson Tears. When I discovered that it
was designed in part by Spike, the creators of the Fire Pro
Wrestling series, I absolutely had to try it.
You're probably wondering what the heck Crimson Tears is,
so here's the scoop. Remember the quest mode in Ehrgeiz
for the Playstation? The computer would make random
dungeons for you, and you'd take your character into them,
fighting vicious monsters and collecting a wide array of
weapons and items. Crimson Tears is pretty much just
like that, except with a futuristic gloss that's more
reminescent of Phantasy Star Online and its sequels. If
you're not familiar with any of those games, you've probably
played SOMETHING that's pretty close to Crimson Tears.
It's at the very tip of a family tree that includes such
titles as Chocobo's Mysterious Dungeon, Fatal Labyrinth, and
Gateway to Apshai.
However, while most of those games featured turn-based
fights, Crimson Tears features more exciting battles that take
place in real time. At first, you'll be kicking and
punching your way through crowds of bad guys, which range from
ferocious green striped dogs to soldiers who bear a suspicious
resemblence to the Master Chief from Halo. Eventually,
one of the enemies will drop a weapon, or an item, or a
power-up, and you'll be able to either equip them right away
or bring them back to your home base to enhance your
characters' abilities.
As a 3D fighter, Crimson Tears gets passing marks.
The combat does get repetitive after a while thanks to the
limited variety of enemies and the lack of a two player mode,
but the animation and some of the attacks are
spectacular. Just put two swords in Amber's hands and
you'll be mesmerized by the way she dances through each room,
taking out enemies with every graceful step.
However, Crimson Tears is almost guaranteed to disappoint
fans of RPGs. After playing ten years of increasingly
complex Square-Enix titles, they've come to expect a lot more
depth from the genre than this game can possibly offer
them. Players can piece together weapons from the parts
they've found in the dungeons, and the option to rescue fellow
party members left stranded in the levels after being defeated
is a welcome feature. Unfortunately, nothing else in
Crimson Tears is going to be much of a surprise or a challenge
to anyone who's spent more than a few hours with other
RPGs.
It may not be the best game Capcom released this year, or
even this month, but the ten hours I spent playing Crimson
Tears would seem to indicate that the game's got something
going for it.
| September 7,
2004... Pop-Up
Paranoia |
I'll be doing some maintenence on the site this week,
adding ad banners to all the currently active pages and
removing all the outdated ones. Just to warn you,
you'll probably see see tons of pop-ups on The Gameroom Blitz
until the folks at ZTNet make the proper adjustments to the
site's advertising script.
Until then, my advice to you would be to download Mozilla
Firefox and use that as your primary Internet browser... not
just to visit this site, but for all your other favorites as
well. Nothing's better at blocking pop-ups and all the
other online irritations that you had come to expect from
Internet Explorer.
Anyway. Later this week, you can look forward to new
reviews from Tony Bueno and John Roche, The Gameroom Blitz's
most prolific contributors. Maybe I'll toss something
into the pot as well, if I'm feeling up to it.
| August 30,
2004... Mean Streets and Miserly
Tanuki |
I'm already catching grief for my shadenfreuden regarding
Acclaim's demise. Gee, who saw THAT one coming?
Look, I'm sorry that people have lost their jobs over this,
but if they've got the qualifications to get hired by a
software manufacturer as large as Acclaim, they won't be
waiting in the unemployment line for very long.
Furthermore, the folks who did get hired by Acclaim have
already had a lot more success breaking into the business than
some of us (by some of us, I mean me). So try not to
take it so personally, all right? Thank you.
Anyway, there's a new review, of True Crime: Streets of
L.A. for the GameCube. I really enjoyed this one... I
rented it last Thursday and became so addicted that I never
wanted to let it go. Good thing Meijer had a couple of
cheap copies in stock, because those six month late fees can
be a real bitch!
I'm not so sure about Animal Crossing, however. I
picked that up earlier this weekend, and although I like the
dialogue, the N64-quality graphics and dull gameplay is less
than endearing. Maybe I'll enjoy it more once I pay off
the whopping debt on my house. That way, I'll be free to
do whatever I want, and Tom Nook can finally afford that
scrotum reduction surgery he's been looking into. I
guess I'd be cranky too if I had to drag my happy sack on the
floor everywhere I went.
| August 28,
2004... Ding, Dong, Acclaim is
Dead! |
My computer's been acting funky lately... it's that
lowdown, dirty funk that only an operating system reinstall
can cure. Maybe I'll take this opportunity to upgrade to
Windows 2000 Professional. It may not have native DOS
support, but it'd still be a whole lot better than slumming
with crummy old Windows (N)ME like I've been doing for the
past two and a half years.
But you don't want to hear about that... you're here for
the gaming news. That's good, because I've got a big
story hot off the presses for you! It seems that, after
torturing gamers with awful software for the past twenty
years, that creepy little cockroach we know as Acclaim has
finally been squashed for good. They've closed down all
their offices, and will probably file for bankruptcy in
another month. With any luck, it'll be the permanent,
chapter 13 kind, rather than the KMart "we'll bounce right
back even though you've made it clear you don't want us around
anymore" kind.
Also, I've been buying games. MAN have I been buying
games! I finally picked up Animal Crossing for my
GameCube, and intend to start playing it as soon as I have the
time to really sit down and enjoy it. I've also bought
Kya: Dark Lineage and Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 for the
Playstation 2... even though I haven't gotten halfway through
Tony Hawk's Underground yet. Now that I think about it,
that was a pretty dumb purchase.
I can't say that I regret picking up Kya: Dark Lineage,
though. From what I've seen of it so far, the game's got
promise. The character designs are extremely well
done... I'm particularly impressed with the Wolfen, a bunch of
bandaged beast men who look like the work of a really
talented, but really angsty furry artist. Also, it looks
like the fighting could be a whole lot of fun once you unlock
all of Kya's moves... later on in the game, she can grab onto
the Wolfens' tails and spin them around, or hop on their
shoulders and mercilessly clobber their heads. Now
that's deliciously vicious!
Finally, I've got a word of advice for any of you
considering the Sega Mega Pack for computers. Yes, it's
cheap, and yes, you get a lot of games, but the system
requirements for each title vary wildly. While some of
the games, like Crazy Taxi and Virtua Fighter 2, should work
fine on a modern day machine, Sonic CD was clearly designed
for older computers, even forcing you to set your color output
to 256 colors before you can play it. Who uses a 256
color monitor anymore? Why would anyone want to?
My advice would be to just stick with a freeware emulator
like Gens if you want to play Sonic CD, or any of the other
Genesis games in this collection. You won't have to deal
with nearly as many hassles. As for the more advanced
titles like Sega Bass Fishing and Crazy Taxi, well, you've
always got your Dreamcast for those.
| August 26,
2004... Capcom
Regeneration |
Capcom's been a little shy about releasing classic game
compilations in the United States, but now that Mega Man
Anniversary Collection has become a critical and financial
success, they should get over their stage fright and finally
bring the Capcom Generations series to America. I spent
last night playing the five disc collection on the Saturn, and
was amazed at both the quality of the games and the number of
extras Capcom had included. There are early design
sketches, helpful game hints (if you're Japanese, anyway...),
and even secret features that can be unlocked with high scores
and other noteworthy achievements. My personal favorite
is on the fifth and final disc... when you beat any of the
Street Fighter II games, you win the soundtrack originally
written for Super Street Fighter II Turbo on the 3DO!
Out of all the great titles in the Capcom Generations
series, only one of them was released in the United
States. It's time for Capcom to correct that mistake and
bring the entire series here to the States... the success of
Mega Man Collection proves that Capcom Generations has a place
here in America as well.
| August 23,
2004... Ubisoft Spectacular (Prince of
Persia, Beyond Good &
Evil) |
I've been negotiating with the site's host to remove those
annoying pop-up ads from the index page. He's willing to
help me out, but in return, I'll need to put smaller, less
intrusive banner ads on the top of every page. I suppose
it's a fair trade... it'll take some effort to redesign all
the pages on the site, but it'd probably take even more to
move to a new server. Also, to be perfectly honest, I've
gotten comfortable here at Overclocked after three
years. Moving has never been a pleasant experience for
me, and with my interest in The Gameroom Blitz (and gaming in
general) waning, I just don't feel it's worth the trouble of
finding a new home for the site.
Anyway. I've been spending some time with Ubi Soft's
two sleeper hits, Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time and
Beyond Good and Evil. I had rented Prince of Persia
earlier this year, and because I never removed my save file, I
was able to pick up where I'd left off. Although parts
of the game are frustrating (particularly the combat, where
you're overwhelmed with aggressive enemies), I still admire it
for its solid control and beautiful graphics. It's
certainly a quantum leap ahead of Prince of Persia 3D on the
Dreamcast... I had the opportunity to play that recently, and
discovered that it was better left buried in the sands of time
(or more appropriately, the sand in a litterbox). We'll
never know if the Dreamcast could have handled a conversion of
the latest Prince of Persia, but one thing I CAN say for sure
is that it deserved better than a stiffly animated Tomb Raider
clone seasoned with seven Middle Eastern herbs and spices.
I'll give Ubi Soft credit for doing such a great job with
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, but Beyond Good and Evil
is more my kind of game. I really appreciate how the
designers had taken the edge off of its threatening, unearthly
setting with a cast of silly characters and lighthearted
dialogue. It's almost like what would happen if Jim
Henson were still alive and started making video games in the
same vein as forgotten films like Labyrinth and The Dark
Crystal. The cooperative gameplay is a great idea as
well, although it begs the question, "If it's so vital to have
a second character with you wherever you go, why didn't they
just make this a two player game?" I think Ubi Soft
missed an important opportunity here, but the interaction
between Jade and her friends do help create the illusion
of a multiplayer experience. The characters share
conversations as they solve puzzles, and when Jade is pinned
down by a savage beast, her partner comes running to her
aid. This helps draw you into the world of Beyond Good
and Evil... it really feels as though your partners are close
friends, rather than worthless tagalongs you're forced to put
up with for the duration of the game. Y'know, like
Tails.
Beyond Good and Evil may not have made a lot of money, but
it did win a lot of hearts, including my own. And hey,
you can get a lot of money by selling hearts on the black
market, so it all worked out for the designers in the end.
| August 17,
2004... Billy Hatcher and the Giant Case of
Diabetes |
I was searching through my Saturn discs for omake (you
know, hidden goodies!) and what should I find on Dracula X:
Nocturne in the Moonlight but this?
[picture of the big-breasted succubus
in the Saturn version of Dracula X]
That was a bit of an eye-opener, but as shocking as that
was, I was even MORE surprised that I couldn't find any omake
on any of my PS2 discs. Is this a dying art, or is it
against Sony policy to include content for other formats on a
Playstation 2 disc?
Anyway, I just played Billy Hatcher and The Giant Egg on
the GameCube. I've been pretty annoyed with all the gory
and violent games that have been released lately, but after
spending an hour with Billy Hatcher, I came to the realization
that it's possible to take things too far in the opposite
direction. I'm convinced that Shigeru Miyamoto and Yuji
Naka are secretly competing to make the world's fruitiest
video game. Miyamoto makes a game about a bunch of
prancing, brightly colored flower people, and Naka fires back
with an even more flaming game, starring an obnoxious little
boy in a chicken suit. By the time this battle is over,
even Nintendo and Sega's more faithful fans will be scrambling
to play Rockstar's latest antisocial fantasy, where the player
runs around kicking puppies and taking candy from babies.
| August 12,
2004... Archrivals |
I just heard that the editors of Tips and Tricks are
working on their own book about the Nintendo Entertainment
System, one that's likely to be authorized by Nintendo
itself. This prompted two reactions from me... the first
was "Oh shit." The second was "I've got to finish my own
NES book FAST if I want it to find an audience."
I respect Chris B. and the gang at Tips & Tricks, and I
have no doubt that they'll do a great job with their own guide
to the NES. However, I've been writing about video games
for nearly fifteen years, and I'm long overdue for a shot at
the spotlight. I don't just want this chance at success,
I've EARNED it. And I'm not going to let anyone take
this opportunity away from me.
So I'll be taking a break from The Gameroom Blitz for a
while. I'll need to devote all my spare time to the NES
guide if I hope to have it finished before the system's
twentieth anniversary... and more importantly, BEFORE any
competitors hit the bookshelves.
| August 7,
2004... Dysphoria |
G4 had the chance to redeem the concept of a televised
video game awards show... but they blew it in a big way with
Gphoria. People will probably argue that it wasn't as
horrible as last year's VGAs on Spike TV, but it's hard for me
to fathom how an awards show could be even less relevant than
Gphoria. Thank you, Comcast, for showing me that
soon-to-be-washed-up celebrities, questionable musical talent,
and an unrelenting barrage of advertising is more important to
the game design process than game designers.
Seriously, out of all the people who took the stage at
Gphoria, only one deserved to be there... Hideo Kojima, the
creator of the Metal Gear series. Sure, they also
introduced one of the "programmers" of the latest Madden game,
but I'd bet demons to diamonds that the stereotypical nerd who
briefly took the spotlight was just an actor. When he
was heckled and pelted with Nerf balls, it not only confirmed
my suspicions, but proved just how much contempt G4 has for
the men and women who are the lifeblood of this industry.
When the director of an outstanding film wins an award for
his hard work, he's the one invited onstage to receive his
prize. When a brilliant novel tops the best-seller list,
the author is given public recognition for her
achievement. Why is it, then, that when game designers
excel at their own craft, it's Tony Hawk and Snoop Doggy Dogg
who take home the gold?
Judging from this awards sham... er, show, it would seem
that video games have made little progress since the days when
programmers like Warren Robinette had to sneak their names
into their software if they hoped to receive any credit for
their work. Gphoria also makes it clear that video games
have made little progress in being recognized as a legitimate
form of media, even if they are marketed to an older audience
than they were back when Atari was calling the shots.
| August 3,
2004... Broken Wings (or, original Tony Hawk
disappointment) |
I recently picked up the Playstation version of the very
first Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, and I have to admit, I'm a
little disappointed with it. After playing (and
playing, and playing...) Tony Hawk 2 on the Dreamcast, I was
expecting the first game in the series to be almost as fun and
addictive. Sadly, there's a lot missing here.
While the later Tony Hawk games may be a little too
complicated for their own good, the original Tony Hawk's Pro
Skater doesn't offer the player enough tricks and combo
opportunities to keep them entertained for long. Also,
if you're expecting to just pop the game into your Playstation
2, turn on the texture smoothing, and enjoy a near-Dreamcast
quality experience, you can forget it. It's not
just the polygonal graphics that are rough, but the frame rate
and gameplay as well. There's a much greater difference
in quality between this game and its Dreamcast sequel than I
ever would have imagined.
I was hoping to use Tony Hawk's Pro Skater on the
Playstation as a stopgap... something to keep me satisfied
until I could find the Dreamcast version of the game.
However, my experience with the game on the Playstation has
only made me want the original Tony Hawk on the Dreamcast even
more. It may not have all the features in the later
games, but it does give you an entirely different selection of
places to skate, and I'd like to try them all on a system that
can really do the Tony Hawk series justice.
| July 30, 2004... Move
Over, Yoo-Hoo! (also, GBA SP
impressions) |
Remember, when you're hot, tired, and in desperate need of
an endorsement deal, nothing beats the cold, refreshing taste
of Butterfinger soda! It's the peanut butter and
chocolate flavored soft drink preferred by the cast of Tony
Hawk's Underground, as well as custom characters like this
crude approximation of Dan Hibiki. When you've got a
thirst that really sticks to the roof of your mouth, wash it
away with a Butterfinger soda! This message has been
brought to you by Nestle and Activision.
OK, I'm done being silly now. I recently took that
Classic Retro Game Boy Advance SP out of layaway and have been
testing it out for the past couple of days. I'm happy
with it so far... the side lighting makes the screen visible
in nearly any condition, the built in lithium battery holds a
charge for an extra, extra, extra long time, and the system is
small enough to carry in your pocket with room to spare for
your wallet and some change. That's in sharp contrast to
the first color handheld, the Atari Lynx. I did somehow
manage to fit the whole thing in my pocket once, but I must
have been wearing clown pants or something at the time.
Also, walking around with that gigantic piece of hardware made
it look as though I was hung like the Washington Monument.
Wait, why was this a bad thing again?
| July 27,
2004... The Big Three, Together At
Last! |
The shock of seeing Sega's games on Nintendo's systems may
have worn off by now, but it's hard not to be surprised when
you see all three major console manufacturers from the 90's
mentioned in the same game. These screens are from the
recently released US version of Astro Boy: The Omega
Factor. Although they're referring specifically to the
film studio and not SCEA, I still can't help but laugh when I
see Sony's name prominently displayed in a Game Boy Advance
game. Perhaps we'll be seeing a lot more of this in the
future, after the PSP goes down in flames and Sony's forced to
turn to Nintendo to publish portable versions of their most
popular games.
| July 21,
2004... There's No Audience Like a Target
Audience |
Not content with merely neglecting older gamers, video game
companies like Midway have taken things one step further and
started to antagonize them. In an article on the
"thugification of gaming", written for the 1UP web site by
Jeremy Parish, Midway marketing analyst Mark Allison makes it
abundantly clear that his company has no interest in
satisfying the needs of gamers who've fallen out of the 18-34
age demographic. He goes on to characterize them as
loud-mouthed nerds obsessed with fantasy games, as if everyone
who hits the age of 35 magically transforms into the Comic
Book Guy on The Simpsons.
I shouldn't be surprised by these comments, nor should I
resent Midway as much as I do for making them. After
all, I'm still five years away from slipping out of the age
group the company thinks is so important. Still, their
completely writing off customers who want games that AREN'T
stupid and phat and poppin' fresh doesn't sit well with
me. Sure, marketing exclusively to casual gamers may
bring in the noise, bring in the bucks at first.
However, when you ignore or even mock the concerns of the
industry's core audience, who will continue to play video
games even after it stops being cool to do so, you're setting
yourself up for a lot of misery (and bankruptcy) in the
future.
I seriously thought about purchasing Midway Arcade
Treasures, but after reading this article, I think I'll just
rent it, or buy it used. Since I'm one of those gamers
who likes fairies and dragons, my money's no good at Midway
anyway, right?
| July 19,
2004... That's the Way I Like
It |
I normally use this site to air my grievances about video
games, buuut since I've been in a better mood than usual
lately (more hours and pay will do that to a guy), and you've
probably grown tired of my bitching about everything under the
sun, I'm going to try something different and discuss
everything I LIKE about video games.
I LIKE... the Nintendo GameCube. I wasn't sure what
to think of this system when it was released three years ago,
but after buying a GameCube for a ridiculously low price, I
just don't know what I'd do without it. It's cheap, it's
fun, and it's got a bunch of must-have games you just can't
have on any other system. The GameCube is also better
supported by third party developers than its predecessor, the
Nintendo 64. Some big-name games aren't released on all
three systems (lousy Rockstar...), but the ones that are look
better than they do on the Playstation 2 and can be found for
fifteen dollars or less.
I LIKE... Tony Hawk. Not the man, but his
games. I kept my distance from them at first, but I
eventually fell prey to the Hawk after picking up the second
game for the Dreamcast. Once you understand the play
mechanics and learn to deal with the frustration of wiping
out, you'll have a lot of fun stringing together huge combos
and catching more air than an industrial-strength fan.
The more recent Tony Hawk's Underground is enjoyable too,
although sometimes I wonder if the designers packed TOO much
into that game. There are so many new tricks that it's
impossible for anyone but a Tony Hawk expert to keep track of
them all. The Caveman is pretty slick, though... merely
getting off your skateboard in the middle of a combo is
considered a trick of its own. Using this, I was able to
rack up the kind of insane six figure scores that were once
limited to the Tony Hawk elite. Thanks, Neversoft!
I LIKE... the GameBoy Player. Snap this adapter onto
your GameCube and you'll be able to play all your favorite
Game Boy Advance games with a full-sized screen and
joystick. Sure, you could do the same thing with your
computer, but where are you gonna find a PC for $150 that can
pull off something as complex as Game Boy Advance
emulation? Besides, the GameBoy Player has some
exclusive features, like a wide variety of colorful frames and
a user interface that syncs up nicely with the frontend built
into the standard GameCube.
I LIKE... the NES. So much so that I'm spending a
hundred clams on the Game Boy Advance SP Classic, which looks
like a pocket NES. Do I need another Game Boy
Advance? Hell no... even if I lost my original system
and my computer blew a fuse, I could still play the games on
my GameBoy Player. Still, how could anyone resist one of
their favorite systems, shaped like one of their OTHER
favorite systems?
Speaking of the NES, you're probably wondering why its
games have been the subject of so many mini-reviews here on
the Blitz. Well, here's the scoop... I'm working on a
project with a few friends of mine, and the reviews you've
been seeing were originally intended to be included in
it. The reviews were a little too verbose, however,
which is why I've decided to publish them here. I can't
tell you much else about the project, except that we should
have it finished in time for the twentieth anniversary of the
best game console ever made.
| July 15,
2004... Concerns about the Next
Xbox |
You've got to love those wacky monopolists at
Microsoft. After losing profit on the XBox for three
straight years, they're STILL convinced that they can dominate
the video game industry by continuing to throw money at
it. Company CEO Steve Ballmer has made the lofty claim
that Microsoft will knock Sony out of the console wars after
the next generation of game systems have been released.
You've got to admire his boundless optimism, but let's look at
the facts here. Microsoft has yet to make a penny on the
XBox, despite investing billions of dollars in both the unit
itself and its XBox Live online service. Moreover, the
versatility that's made the XBox famous among hackers may not
be a feature in Microsoft's next system. There's already
talk that the NextBox will use different hardware, will not
include a hard drive, and will not offer backward
compatibility with the original XBox. This is clearly an
attempt to keep computer geeks from modifying the system to
run Linux, but this move could ultimately prove Microsoft's
undoing. Ironically, Linux is why their console has sold
so well in the first place. Take out that functionality
and you've got just another game system, with nothing to
distinguish it from its competitors.
While Microsoft and Sony fight over the majority of the
market share, Nintendo will continue to thrive by catering to
the audiences that the other companies neglect. And
mouth breathing XBox and Playstation fanboys will continue to
predict doom and gloom for Nintendo, even while the company
makes millions of dollars from families, children, and
old-school gamers who have nowhere else to go for their gaming
enjoyment. In their quest for market domination,
Microsoft has forgotten that it's better to make a small
profit than a HUGE loss.
| July 12,
2004... Pinching Pennies (reviews of Lupin,
Namco Museum, etc.) |
The only thing better than adding a bunch of new games to
your collection is finding them for absurdly low prices.
Circuit City recently unloaded many of their older console and
Game Boy Advance titles for a shocking five dollars apiece,
and even Midwestern retail outlet Meijer has gotten into the
act, offering select games for ten dollars. They made
the deal even sweeter with a special one day offer, slashing
the price of every second game you purchased in half!
Even this didn't make Meijer's offer quite as generous as
Circuit City's, but it was more than enough to convince me to
pick up four games.
The original plan was to get as many GameCube titles as I
could afford, but as always, money was tight, and I didn't
find enough dirt-cheap Cube games that I really wanted to
justify picking up more than two of them. I gave Spawn:
Armageddon and Rayman 3 some consideration, but I've been
burned on too many Spawn games to take a risk with this one,
and I hated Rayman's new, more extreme character design.
I decided instead to pick up Namco Museum and Legends of
Wrestling II, and see what the store had in the way of bargain
basement Playstation 2 titles.
The first thing I noticed is that although there were twice
as many PS2 games available, not nearly as many of them were
marked at clearance prices. I did manage to find a few,
though... like Lupin the Third: Treasure of the Sorcerer
King. This was perched on the top shelf, hidden from
most gamers and nearly out of my reach. Maybe they
wouldn't have had to cut the price if they actually bothered
to make it, you know, visible. Er, anyway, I had the
money for one more game, so I picked up Black and Bruised, a
comical boxing title often compared to Mike Tyson's Punch
Out!!
So, how were the games? Well, half of 'em weren't too
shabby. I didn't care for Legends of Wrestling II at
first... the loud, obnoxious rock music and wrestler designs
that strike an awkward balance between realism and cartoony
exaggeration left me cold. However, things warmed up
pretty quickly when I started the career mode. You start
off wrestling in small arenas with a few dozen people watching
your fights, but as you progress, the stadiums get bigger and
the crowds become more enthusiastic. When you graduate
from anonymous jobbers to classic wrestling heroes like
Hacksaw Jim Duggan, the battles get a lot more intense, and
it's not just because the fights are tougher. It just
feels like there's a lot more at stake when you're surrounded
by thousands of cheering fans, capturing you on film with
every bright flash of their cameras.
I liked Lupin the Third as well... but then again, I'm a
little biased, since I'm such a fan of the cartoon that
inspired it. There have been many Lupin games released
in the past twenty years, but this is the first one that goes
to great lengths to be faithful to the license, rather than
shoehorning the crafty crook and his band of thieves into a
Rolling Thunder or Tomb Raider clone. Treasure of the
Sorcerer King is a stealth action game, although I wouldn't
compare it to Metal Gear Solid... this is more linear, and as
you might expect, a lot less serious. Lupin strikes
silly poses behind statues to keep from getting discovered by
police officers, and can wallop the cops with a frying pan if
he's backed into a corner. Eventually, you're given the
chance to play as Lupin's partners in crime, and there are
even unlockable bonuses like mini-games that you can lift from
the pockets of your unsuspecting victims. From what I've
seen so far, Treasure of the Sorcerer King seems largely
dependant on the player's interest in all things Lupin.
If you can't stand the show, don't even bother with the game,
but if you love the wacky antics of that skirt-chasing
scoundrel and his friends, you might want to add this to your
collection.
However, I wouldn't suggest purchasing either of the last
two games under any circumstances. Namco Museum is yet
another in a long line of phoned-in classic game collections
by Namco. If you thought Todd Frye's conversion of
Pac-Man was a travesty, just wait until you see what Namco and
Mass Media have done to the game on a system many times more
powerful than the 2600! You'd think that a perfect
translation of a twenty year old arcade game would be a
slamdunk for a powerhouse like the GameCube, but sadly, the
graphics still look just as compromised as they did on the
Nintendo 64, Dreamcast, and every other system that's been
plagued with this collection. The "arrangements",
greatly enhanced sequels to games like Dig Dug and Galaga,
could have saved Namco Museum, but they too suffer from
compressed graphics and ugly borders that gobble up nearly
half the screen. There are no "tate" (vertical screen)
modes, no added features aside from two lackluster hidden
games, and frankly, no valid reasons to buy this disc if
you've already downloaded MAME on your computer.
Black and Bruised demonstrates much more effort on the
parts of the designers, but it isn't much more
entertaining. The only thing it really borrows from
Punch Out!! is its selection of stereotyped characters, this
time ranging from a hot-tempered Irish lush to Dolly Parton in
her younger days. The gameplay is vastly different,
however... it would be a lot more accurate to compare it to
that other quickly forgotten boxing game, Ready 2
Rumble. You're given full run of the ring and can pummel
your foes with a large variety of combos. Unfortunately,
most of them are too complicated to memorize, and your foe's
weaknesses are too ambiguous to exploit. These flaws
leave you with a frustrating button masher where Latino
milquetoasts and demure environmentalists somehow beat
muscular drill sargeants and massive prison inmates to a
bloody pulp.
Was my spending spree worth the disappointment and the
empty wallet? Yeah, I'd have to say so. It's been
a long time since I've picked up some new games, and even
longer since I've used my Playstation 2 for something other
than a cheap DVD player. Also, I can't say that I regret
buying either Lupin the Third or Legends of Wrestling II...
I'm sure that both games will have a lot to offer if I'm
willing to stick with them.
| July 7,
2004... Learning to Love Tony
Hawk |
Let me tell you, it's not easy to learn to play a game in a
genre that's unfamiliar to you. I learned that lesson in
the 90's with Street Fighter II and its many clones, and I'm
taking a refresher course in humility (and outright
humiliation!) now that I've started the career mode in Tony
Hawk's Pro Skater 2. I bought the game for my Dreamcast
about a month ago just to add it to my collection, but now
that I've finished Zelda: The Wind Waker, I figured it was the
right time to spend some time with the game and see what all
the Hawk-o-maniacs loved so much about the series.
Many hours, bruises, and potentially lethal falls later, I
started to earn a whole new respect for the game... not to
mention the guys who do this stuff in real life. After
you learn to perform the tricks and open up the secret areas
in each stage, Tony Hawk 2 becomes a lot more enjoyable.
Frustration is still a factor at this point- there are bonus
items and cash prizes hanging in places Spider-Man couldn't
reach, much less an ordinary guy on a skateboard- but
ultimately, I'd have to say that Tony Hawk 2 was worth the
money, and more importantly, the time I invested in
it.